This will be a pretty tight week for me, so i guess in terms of challenges i'm not quite out of the valley yet.At this point i'm mostly afraid that i'm not really working hard enough. I catch myself stalling before a workout, resisting and taking a bad attitude when i finally get to it.
Granted, my workouts are typically too late at night, and a great deal of my problems stem from my not doing the workout while the sun is up. And i was thinking the other day that, despite my work, and how i look and feel, i don't really feel any stronger, and i'm not any stronger against my sparring partners. I worry a lot that i must be doing something wrong, or not well enough. That i could fail my project somehow, and especially because of some inability to tough it out, or work hard enough.
But, when it comes down to it, this is all just a bunch of complaining. I know i can't take my worries too seriously, and in the end, i can't give up. I just have to remember to not let it get to me too much.
Your body is under constant assault with these workouts, so you might not "feel" much stronger. But your bar for what feels normal is slowing rising and you're probably much stronger than you think!
ReplyDeleteWhat I always tell my iai students: your enemy is your tomorrow-self. He is one day better than you; one day stronger, faster, smarter, wiser. BUT: only one day. You CAN beat him if you apply yourself.
ReplyDeleteThen again, tomorrow, he will be one day ahead of you again...it never ends. Therefore, there really never is failure, just like there is never really success. You just keep plodding along...and then you die!
Can you try to do a workout during the day? Is it impossible?
ReplyDeleteMy love! Your schedule would make greater men cry. You've really achieved so much; I can see it, even if you can't. You will always have both triumph and disaster, and you must treat both impostors just the same (a la Rudyard Kipling! No? Read his poem "If" when you're feeling low, then!). Only 22 days left! <3 (Ooh, I guess I can comment if I use your comp profile! :D)
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